There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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