I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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