I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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