just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
