I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
