Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
