The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wish you could order shots online.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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