The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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