Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
