im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The uberlube is also flammable
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
