Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
