dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
