no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
