Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
