Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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