well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
tell me about the eggs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
