i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Randomize
