mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
do nipples grow back?
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