I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
