So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
there is puke in my bra ... again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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