I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
