I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
