i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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