I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
