Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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