It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
