If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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