he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
