sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
