It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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