Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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