this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
