Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize