I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
