I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize