her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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