is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
