Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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