Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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