im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.