We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
