Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
