I'll bet she douches with gravy.
handjob tips. give me some.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
