I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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