Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
