Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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