How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
that's an acceptable place to lick
this beer tastes like vomit already
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
