She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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