Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
