shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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