you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
