Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
