I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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