At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
