Porn is love you can see.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
