I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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