How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is my gift to your gina
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
