Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
nutella sex= disaster
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
