It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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