if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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