He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
