I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
