I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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