farters have to be the big spoon...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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