Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
