and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize