this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she looked like the before picture.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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