What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bring me that man meat
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
