And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
too bad you live with your parents still
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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